This is a text message exchange I had with my daughter, whose middle school is in a very high-crime area.
I asked if she was safe. She didn’t respond for nearly 15 minutes. I texted my husband at work to inform him of his daughter’s report. He was very concerned. I was wrapping up my gym equipment and getting my little kids from the kids corner when I received a robocall from the school about an early release time at 1pm due to dangerous weather reports, aka tornado warnings. How suspicious that they didn’t mention the explosion in the gym!
I was confused and concerned, so I drove to the school. The school is dumpy and in serious need of love and repair, but there were no signs of major destruction or drama. I went back over the text exchange with my daughter. Then the miscommunication dawned on me.
The gym didn’t explode. The kids in the gym exploded with cheers when the news of the early release time reached them. …..Clarity…….relief……….Hahahahahahaha!
My daughter later said she thought my responses were sarcasm rather than genuine concern. Por esto!
I helped a newly engaged couple work through a similar miscommunication this week around money. In their excited to join lives, they had combined some of their finances a little prematurely which made for a rocky start. He had told her he needed some equipment for a serious hobby, and she heard a whole lot more in that statement than what he thought he said. They stewed in miserable contention for more than a week! During our premarital financial coaching session, we were able to clear up the miscommunication, ease her concerns, and create a solution for the desired equipment in less than an hour.
Contention around money is VERY common. In fact, it is responsible for 9 out of 10 divorces in the first 7 years of marriage, and 1 in 3 divorces overall.
Like me and my daughter, or like the couple in my example, it is hard to understand differently what is so clearly true to us. And it can be very concerning and confusing until you do! I have helped hundreds of clients find a unified vision and create a harmonious plan.